Twice is a Pattern

The end of my Texas graduate school time was approaching without the little 1-semester extension I needed to finish my Doctoral dissertation. I was waiting on the AF to approve it in the 2 locations required: AFIT Hq in Ohio, and the navigator career managers in San Antonio! AFIT's academicians approved it with no problem, but Randolph AFB (San Antonio) had to make their decision yet when I had to go on immediate emergency leave for a time-critical week or two. Raquel's brother, Rogelio, had just been killed in a car accident while driving to hunt deer in Colorado. His Laredo rosary/wake the day before his funeral Mass was attended by more people than had ever been seen before in that well-established old funeral home! The whole extended family was distraught. I stood in the front row with my wife (Raquel) and Rogelio's second wife, Soo-Lin, and the rest of Rogelio & Raquel's family of origin.

I don't remember for sure if Rogelio's first wife, DeeDee, attended but she likely came in the back with her daughter who was about the same age as my son, Ivan. Raquel and Soo-Lin were later discussing ways to get more of Rogelio's insurance money and estate for Soo-Lin & HER daughter so that Rogelio's first wife, whom Rogelio's family-of-origin had come to despise, could not get more than absolutely necessary . They were speaking quite openly in front of me so that I discovered, if Soo-Lin were to be pregnant (presumably, by Rogelio), she would be entitled to an extra share of Rogelio's estate (lessening the relative amount that DeeDee would be able to get.) It was quite clear that Raquel wanted me to know this fact. Soo-Lin didn't seem to mind talking openly about this either and said she didn't think she was pregnant, yet.

Raquel volunteered me to drive Soo-Lin to legal appointments and the bank that week to open Rogelio's safety deposit box and retrieve his insurance policies during the week after Rogelio's funeral. I thought it was only appropriate to help out driving & helping the family since I was there on emergency leave, and Rogelio had been my "best man" in our wedding, and he was Raquel's brother. But Raquel also seemed to insure Soo-Lin and I had a lot of occasions where we would be together taking care of probate business and would be unaccompanied for much of the time. Raquel, even more than most women I had noticed, was a very big "hinter" -- an indirect communicator suggesting things through innuendo or understatement that she wanted to happen. I, on the other hand, do NOT like hints or communication BY hints or indirect communication of any sort. (My attitude there would later be vindicated by another author in a major college course I taught in "Communication and Human Relations.")

I attributed the point of the hints to the desperateness of these two women who had lost a brother and a husband and were grasping at straws to hold onto as much of Rogelio as possible. I let the issue pass and never acted on it, but much has happened since then to help me confirm my suspicions. This was surely another of Raquel's plans to entice me into becoming a convenient sperm donor for someone I was not married to.

What other reasons Raquel had for me to become involved in this, I can only guess. This was a time long before I realized the large amount of illicit sexuality and incest that permeated Raquel's family of origin. But it is valuable to review old history in terms of later enlightenments to put things in clearer perspective. Years later, I was to find out one of Raquel's earliest memories would suggest a strange motivation to payback her deceased brother whom she remembered laying down on top of her when she was a very little girl in her bassinet.